Teeth

Because I don't floss,
my teeth plan for protesting.
Occupy Dentist.

Gus

Stop! Come! Sit! Wait! No!

You silly wonderful dog...

get off my damned foot.

Coffee

It wakes me up and
makes me poo, this wondrous mug
of morning magic.

Toilet Seat

I never lift it,
and yet I am the one who
cleans under it.  Shit.

Bills

I'll pay you and you,
But YOU have to wait longer...
Until more checks come.

Mice

Mice live in the wall
of my office, taunting me.
I'll get you fuckers...

Huh...

Bobby Valentine
for general manager...
That confuses me.

Damn

My vacuum cleaner
broke, so instead I must sweep.
Now THIS really sucks.