Let me just say this:
Penis, Penis, Penis. There.
That is all for now.

Betty Crocker is a Lying Bitch

Moist, Chewy Brownies...
Instead, the damned box should read
Ass Fatter-Nator


Oh, beloved sock;
Once a pair and now single...
I know how that feels.


Oh, wintry white stuff,
Please only fall on my grass
And not my driveway...


Eight blogs for one girl...
Too much for me to handle,
Or perhaps one more? 

Pointy Boots

Winklepickers - WOW!
It sounds like a naughty word...
Then you look it up.

Bathroom Scale

You naughty liar,
You evil, torturous thing...
I'm worth so much more.


Oh, sweet dog of mine,
please do not eat broccoli
ever again. Wow!


Crooked, lop-sided,
tinsel-less and no more bulbs.
Light up, freaking tree!!!!


If I hear once more
'Have a Happy Period,'
I'll shoot the TV.


Husbands amaze me.
You ask them to do something
And maybe they will.